Motherhood: Take 2: That's what I'm here for....right?!

When you're an at-home Mom, I suppose it's normal to feel like there are certain things that are simply "your" job to take care of.? During the summer when the kids were home all.day.long., I didn't do much for them.? They had 1500 boxes of cereal available for breakfast, I kept tuna salad made or lunch meat (no nitrates!!!) on hand at all times so they could make sandwiches for lunch, and snack stuff was always in the fridge or cabinet awaiting their attack.? I even skimped on dinner many summer nights.

But now that they are back in school and sports are in full swing, I find it my duty to take on just about all of their duties.? I'm sure to many Moms this sounds insane. But being home every day, all day, aside from volunteering at Nas' school, exercising, and writing, I feel like the household business is mine to tend to. And I want the house to be clean when they all make their way back home for the evening.? I know my Mom worked full-time and did what she could. If she were home every day all day she would have a) gone crazy, but b) had EVERYTHING taken care of when we got home! So this whole at-home Mom thing has definitely become a "homemaker" thing because, well, there are NO KIDS home til 3:30 Monday through Friday!

So what does this look like? Well, I feel obligated to get up with my daughter in the morning at 6:15. I need to make sure she's up and getting it together for the day. Some days I'll be up for making the kids something hot for breakfast, this morning it was pancakes and bacon, yesterday it was oatmeal (instant mixed with rolled), toast and fruit. But I feel like I need to help them along in the morning, and breakfast is my gig even if it's cereal, toast and a boiled egg! I don't like the kids eating too much processed 'crap' and we all know that 'real' food requires some time and effort - so Mama's gotta get up!

For now, I make their sandwiches on Sunday, add lettuce and tomato on the day of, and they have snacks in a big bowl for them to choose from. I also make their fruit cup or a little salad for them to pack, but that is also because I need to know they are eating fairly well on any given day.? Maybe this all just comes down to control? It wouldn't be the first time I've heard that - I'm controlling, yes.

Then, I check to see what we can have for dinner before 4 p.m. rolls around so I can feed Nas before football on practice nights.? Babe insists he can help with dinner some nights, but I realize I have plenty of time to get that taken care of in case he's not up to doing dinner when he thinks he might be.

I do realize that this can be a bad idea. But I've decided that for the first couple of weeks, while they get settled into their routines, it's what my inner Mom voice tells me to do.? Then I will need to let them take on some of the responsibility because one of my top priorities is raising my kids to be independent. Jay's off to a great start in that regard, but Nas will need more encouragement - not Mommy taking on all of his "stuff".

Maybe when I see myself as CEO of our household I need to remember to delegate, as any good leader knows. I find great joy in taking care of my family, but I can't let that override my determination to raise independent kids. I'm sure as the newness of this school year wears off I will let up a bit because sharing the duties is the only way I'll get a win-win: I'm taking care of my family and ensuring that the kids gradually take on more responsibility. That's how you really take care of and love your kids.? Because if the past 11 years of motherhood have taught me anything, it's that they'll be 18 and ready to live their own lives sooner than I know. And I need them to be very ready and very capable when the time comes.

Source: http://writerswrite21.blogspot.com/2012/08/thats-what-im-here-forright.html

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